Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

Holding the tickets in my hand should make me feel some kind of happiness, but the odd thing is that even though I am not sure of what I feel, I can say with all certainty it's everything but joy. Maybe it's because I've set my mind on that there's a chance everything might turn out to fail, that if I think about it too much, I'll end up jinxing the whole trip and once again we'll be back at the first step, planning, rebooking, waiting.

So here I am, with one day to go and I have this melancholy feeling instead of pure excitement. I did not see that coming. What exactly does one do to find the drift that makes you feel unstoppable, to get back in the game? I tried finding it while spending way too many hours in front of Gossip Girl, embarrassing, but true. That didn't help much (not surprised at all) so I've decided that it's just a minor break-down-thingy that I'm going trough. Everyone has them from time to time, right?
 Well, I'm pretty much done moaning, or that's at least what I'm convincing myself. I've longed for this trip the entire summer, what could have changed in just two weeks? For God's sake, I'm going to China, that's pretty cool.