It's now been 16 days since I arrived, things are going well, however, I must admit that at times I've been going to bed, wishfully thinking I had a brighter complexion. I'm really trying hard to appreciate and rock my dark skin, and my Kenyan roots that I know are hidden somewhere within me, but you simply aren't giving me an easy time.
I thought by now, I would be able to call Kenya home, feel proud that I am part Kenyan, and look like you, but I've actually never felt more of a stranger as I do now.
I thought by now, I would be able to call Kenya home, feel proud that I am part Kenyan, and look like you, but I've actually never felt more of a stranger as I do now.
Several times I've heard you say I'm lucky, that my life must be so easy, since I live in Sweden, and you know what I am very lucky, I'm not going to argue that, and yes my life might seem easy compared to yours, but all Westerners are still not filthy rich, and the majority of us (yes I say us) struggle daily and have worked/work hard to get to were we are, or wish to be, just like some of you.
Maybe it's because I'm located in a small village, that's why things feel so extreme, but is that an excuse?
Thinking that for once I'm glad that I look different in Sweden, with my dark complexion comes no expectations, people telling me I speak good Swedish seems to come as a surprise to them. I never thought I'd come to the point were I think that way of thinking would ever be okay. But at the moment I do, because with no expectations, everything's possible, at least I get the benefit of proving them wrong.
Thinking that for once I'm glad that I look different in Sweden, with my dark complexion comes no expectations, people telling me I speak good Swedish seems to come as a surprise to them. I never thought I'd come to the point were I think that way of thinking would ever be okay. But at the moment I do, because with no expectations, everything's possible, at least I get the benefit of proving them wrong.
Here, it's the other way round, you expect me to understand the tribe issue, label me after a tribe I know nothing about, tell me I should know a language that I didn't even know to start with, you actually judge me more than the Swedish people do. Isn't it enough that I'm here to learn more about our culture?
Kenya actually has more than 40 different languages, Swahili being the official, but that's not good enough for some of you. I'm trying my best, I'd be very happy if you would treat me as the two elderly brothers from yesterday, happy that I'm in Kenya, trying to learn more, so please would you try your best to let go of some of the extreme, narrow, ethnic values and thoughts you have? (You'll still be a Kenyan, I promise)
Yours sincerely S.
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